If I will live forever

If I will live forever (which i don’t believe to by the way) I think a lot of me will change. My perspective in life will change.

As humans, we crave for more. More of this, more of that. But. When we know that we’re going to have what we want forever, we change.

Here’s the changes that I think I’ll have when this happens:

  • I’ll be more helpful, since I know that I’m going to live forever why not devout sometime to help other people.
  • I’ll stop multitasking, since I’ll have all the time in the world why not seat somewhere and stay there until you learn to appreciate it. Right?
  • I’ll focus on one thing at a time.
  • I’ll devout my life in doing everything that can be done in this world.
  • I’ll try to change people, people’s lives… perspectives.
  • I will learn every language that my brain can handle.
  • Maybe, I’ll be more open and happy.
And now, i leave you with this song.

The problem is ME!

April 7, 2011 9:00

The thing is I enjoy staying in front of the computer doing nothing productive. And I hate myself for that. I can go out to walk and maybe even loss some pounds, but I don’t. I can go out and ride my father’s bicycle but no I like staying inside my room.

There are a lot of things –productive things that I can do, but I choose to stay in front of this computer enjoying the life of being stuck and have no sense of direction in life.

I sucks that I’m studying Information Technology but I don’t even know if I like what I’m studying about.

You know, THE PROBLEM IS ME. I don’t know what I like. I don’t know where I want to go. I can’t imagine where I’d be in 10 years. I don’t know anything about myself! I’m so screwed, seriously.

In one year, I’ll be having graduating and having my diploma but after that? I don’t know where to go. I don’t know what to do next. I don’t know what I’m going to do with my life. I don’t know. I don’t know.

 

I’m a castaway, lost in the wheel of life.

April 7, 2011 8:49PM

I’m not good at anything related to computer (except for the basics of course). I don’t excel in programming, web design or web development. I don’t have the eagle’s eye for visual arts! I’m a desperate web developer, web designer, visual artist and a desperate writer.

All the time, I have this long list of things I want to do in life, list of things I want to carry out but unfortunately I don’t even exert in writing, how I can ever be something I want to become!

I want to learn everything, and I don’t even know if I really like to learn them or there’s just this drive that is making me like it because it’s cool or it makes good money.

I’m going to be a senior this coming school year but I still don’t know what I’m going to do after graduation. Where will I apply? What company? And thee word what position will I apply too.

I know, I’m screwed and it’s making me cry right now already.

There are times that I spend my lone time pitying myself for having no sense of direction in life. And I hate it always. I hate how it makes me cry and imagine myself forever living with my parents. I hate how it makes me think of my self less. I hate how it makes me think that I will never have a job. I hate how it’s making me feel stupid. I hate it. I hate that feeling, pitying myself because I can’t do anything about it.

I don’t know when will I put together my self and have a sense of responsibility of my future, but I hope soon. Please God, I need it soon.

Just a while ago, I watched the movie The Social Network, and it made me feel worthless. Worthless that I’m not doing anything for my future, worthless in a sense that there are people in my age that are already established and have this road they follow to arrive of whatever they want to go. While I am here, typing my thoughts in the middle of nowhere lost and that I don’t even have a clue where to go, that nobody even bothered dropping some signs so at least I know what direction to go.

This is the saddest part of my life. Or not, because I remember, I don’t even have a life.

 

Greatest Gift ever.

As a person, the greatest gift(s) that I’ve ever receive in my entire life is my life and the gift of eternal life! And they came from only one being, Jesus Christ.

As a Christian and as myself, im very thankful for those gifts. An i got them in no sweat. And i am forever thankful that i have those gifts now, there’s none that can overcome them.

When it comes to material things, i am thankful for my laptop, my cell phone and my psp. You noticed? Yes. I’m a bit of a techie, not much because i really don’t buy every technology that come’s out, i just try to have the one’s that i really want and need.

So there. How about you? What’s the greatest gift that you’ve ever received? :)

 

The Most Confusing Part of Life..

I think, generally life is very confusing but with God’s guidance we are “good”.
But, i think, right now, im totally confused with what i want in life. Yes. The i-dont-know-what-i-want-life drama will i think never be erased in me because of so many reasons like i’m not happy with what im doing in school, meaning i really dont like and enjoy the school stuff.

The Lost Lamb

            There are people who we think have perfect lives –love, luxuries, opportunities etc. but have you ever thought, if what you think is what they’re thinking too? Really, have you? Because what I have in mind is unknown.

Growing up, I won’t say I had everything because I didn’t have everything I wanted, but I can say that I had everything I needed. 

I don’t know, but after watching the GG2.E19, it made me feel something is wrong with my life and I can’t figure what it is. I feel lost in my own world. It’s like I don’t know what I’m doing in this place, I don’t know why I’m doing this things that never crossed my mind when I was young. Programming? Really. I didn’t even know it exists. But see, I’m doing it! I know the reason why I shifted my course, but I don’t know why I choose Information technology. Maybe, I know a little, like because I wanted to design websites or something but, IT? I don’t even know it existed until I heard it from my cousin –the same month I shifted my course.

I don’t know if you get me. But, I think I’m really lost. Like I need to find the person in me. I don’t exactly mean being alone, meditating and stuff but, what I mean is, I want to find the person in me without sacrificing things and this is not even a big problem, because the big problem is I don’t even know where to start! Can I ask you, “Where should I Start?”.

What happened during March 4 – 17, 2010

March 4, 2010 – Thursday

It was a normal day.

Just the usual.

 

March 5, 2010 – Friday

Dad and Mom came to Laoag today for some personal reasons. Haha

I ate lunch twice with my ‘rents and my friends.J  I don’t know but when it comes to food I would not  mind eating twice or maybe sometimes I’m just too worried on what people will say if they’re eating and I’m not

 

March 6, 2010 – Saturday

No, I didn’t attended my PE class. Ha ha ha.

For accounting I was happy and I uber enjoyed the discussion cause now I completely understand the topic and I can finish the exercises alone. Yey.

 

March 7, 2010 – Sunday

it was a usual Sunday.. oppps! NO its not. I got a high peak on the church today, i laughed so hard that I even cried.

Pastor preached about Gossips and Scornful things today, at some point i got poked by the message and at some point i was thinking too -“Why do people gossip?” to get attention? to become the center of attraction? to become the “it” girl who knows everything before the whole community/school/place? And until know, its still on my mind trying to absorb the message and the answer my pastor gave me.

 “Never gossip with anyone else, because the moment she/he runs out of gossips, you will be the next talk in town.”

 “Never believe any gossip, unless proven true by the person involved.”

“And even if the gossip is true-because you saw it, you hear it while its happening, don’t bother telling it to anyone, just stay away with it.”

March 8, 2010 – Monday

The fieldtrip is ON. I am uber excited for this because I’ve been wanting to go somewhere with my classmates, for fun stuffs.

March 9, 2010 – Tuesday

Went to school for a meeting about our fieldtrip, it lasted for less than an hour.

I think I’m not excited for the fieldtrip, the people on the list is not in my list. Darn.

 

 

 

March 10, 2010

Cavite here we come.

Not quite excited for this already after I heard the list of people who are coming. I wanted this trip to be nice, with just the people I like but sadly, I cant do that cause it’s a school flied trip not mine.

Early this morning we have been told that we have to be in school at 6, and so we(everybody who’s coming) did come at 6pm! We waited until 8PM for the bus and 11pm for our departure to Cavite – we only have one bus and its not enough, so the organizer tried to have another car for those who doesn’t have seats, but we still end up taking one bus, with about 10 people standing.

March 11, 2010

12 midnight pass. We’re here at Marcia’s to eat and buy some stuffs.

The bus-standers as we call them, they transferred into a van already, good for them because it’s not easy to stand in the center of a bus for about 13 hours ride.   

Its 2:30AM. We’re on some kind of bus stop who only offers CUP Noodles! Good thing, we (Ivy, Faye & Neil) ate “aroscaldo” in Marcia’s.

I was almost awake for the rest of the trip.

At 9:ooAM we’re at NLEX already.

At about 10:00, we head up to UP Philvolcs and then off to Cavite.

At 12:00, we are still on the bus, on our way to Cavite, everyone is starving and complaining.  “Mabisin kamin!” hahaha. Darn, Good thing while asking for directions at this place a side walk vendor came and snap we bought everything he has. Haha.

At about 2:00PM, Atlas, we had arrived at Cavite, Island Cove Resort! We’re on the table waiting for our Lunch already.

At 4:00PM, Check-in & to rest. What a relief when we’re already lying on the bed.

At 6:00PM, we were asked to go out for the team building; we’re second place. Oh well.

After the team building, we went straight to the resorts hall -its where the dinner and the seminar are going to be held.

The seminar ended at about 8pm. We we’re all tired to give our ears to the speaker instead we did things to awaken ourselves. We made little ships with the table clothes, made annoying noise with the spoon and fork and laugh at random things.

Though, after the seminar, we we’re suddenly energized.

They had a “session” In our room, went to the resorts bar and roamed it until 12midnight already. (Im not sure what time it was when we went to sleep.)

 

March 12, 2010

At 3:00AM I was awakened by myself. Haha. And I found the television switched on, I didn’t bother to switch it off and so I went back to sleep. 

6:00AM, someone rang our doorbell, I don’t know who opened it, but Sir Saladino came to awaken us for the Breakfast.

At 7:00AM, were on the hall for breakfast already with others still on PJ’s still on. Haha (I changed my PJ Pants to Pants!)

After breakfast went back to our room to get ready for check out which is 10:30

We(our group and Ate cindy’s group) we’re already set to check out at 9AM- we had our luggage’s with us to the front desk and gave our key to the people there and left luggage’s too. I asked for the tram to fetch us so we can use our stabs to go the Animal Island.

When we came back to the hotel, our bus is already there and with people on it. Good thing the seat we had while going is still the same seat we’re going to have on going home.

At pass 11, we left the resort to have our lunch and shooping at MOA.

At 5PM, we started our journey coming back home.

We had our Dinner at 8PM at a shell station in NLEX.

 

March 13, 2010

We arrived in Laoag at about 6AM.

And I arrive here at home at 7AM, Me, Faye and Stephen rode Maria de leon on going home.

When I arrived here at home, only my dad is awake, he’s getting ready to go biking.

The first things I did, I took a bath. While unpacking our house helper popped and asked for my used clothes.

After that, I went to sleep until -6PM.

I was energized when I woke up.

March 14, 2010

8AM, my dad is waiting for Pacquiao vs. Clottey figth. And since we’re on PPV- as always, we going to have it live.

And the usuals came, our close relatives came to watch the fight, it was already 12nn when it started, then came the Assistants of Governor Michael Keon- they stayed until the fight was over.

Pacquiao won, by points.

 

March 15, 2010

Monday. I was late for my first period. Good thing when I arrived they’re not having classes, Robinson is telling fun stories that happened in our trip and we we’re all laughing out loud.

March 16, 2010

This morning, we only a discussion in Nsci03 cause I did not attend my cscio4.

In the afternoon, we were asked to  attend a forum for the politicians who are going to run for the congress. The forum went well, and oh, they gave us a sandwich and a juice. Haha. Thanks.

After the forum (3:30PM), we went to chowking for merienda cause the food they gave us is not enough, and we also saw Angelica and Kuya Bogie there. J

March 17, 2010

I lied to parents, I told them we don’t have classes, but in fact I’m just too lazy to go to school. Haha. Peace ‘rents. :))

 

Life’s battles…

 

All life’s battles teach us something, even those we lose. When you grow up, you’ll discover that you have defended lies, deceived yourself, or suffered for foolishness. If you’re a good warrior, you will not blame yourself for this, but neither will you allow your mistakes to repeat themselves. -The Fifth Mountain by Paulo Coelho,page128

If Only Life Was Like A Computer!

If you messed up your life, you could press “Alt, Ctrl, Delete” and start all over!

To get your daily exercise, just click on “run.”

If you needed a break from life, click on “suspend.”

Hit “any key” to continue life when ready.

To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster.

To “add/remove” someone in your life, click settings and control panel.

To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings.

If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers.

When you lose your car keys, click on “find.”

“Help” with the chores is just a click away.

You wouldn’t need auto insurance. You’d use your diskette to recover from a crash.

We could click on “send” and the kids would go to bed immediately.

To feel like a new person, click on “refresh.”

Click on “close” to shut up the kids and spouse.

To undo a mistake, click on “back.”

Is your wardrobe getting old? Click “update.”

If you don’t like cleaning the litter box, click on “delete.” — Unknown

And, most important, If you need God, click on “insert”..